So many things can go wrong in my life, and all I have to do is close my eyes and try to remember what it felt like on this day. The day I was able to check something off of my bucket list. The day I stood in front of one of the most famous pieces of architecture and said: “I’m finally here.”
Everyone seems to be leaving. Growing up and taking on the world with this new energy that I can’t seem to find. I’m not sure if I’m ready to hop on the ride that seems to be going nowhere in particular. I’m not sure I’m ready to go into the world knowing there is a small chance nothing good may come out of it. So at this point I guess it is all just a waiting game. I have never been far from home without knowing I’d be back into the swing of things in less then a week. My life is going to start soon, and I’m terrified.
What will come of me when I’m no longer stuck to High School and the town that molded me? It’s hard to even fathom me without the small little town nestled near the big city. It’s who I am, I think. It’s an existential crisis, one where I know I want more but I’m fighting with my courage to even attempt to get there. I guess everyone feels it at some point, but I always figured I knew what I was doing and if anyone was ready for LIFE it was me. Now I don’t know.
Just posting this is a step out of my comfort zone. I’m an invert and I always have been. I know, or I like to think, there is greatness in me somewhere. I hope it’s just hiding, waiting to make some ridiculous entrance. I always figured if anyone’s courage was going to be catty it would be mine.